Archive | November, 2011

dramatis personae

23 Nov

Scott and Maya: My housemates. Self-proclaimed ski bums and bicycle fanatics, who have traveled through all the weird nooks and crannies of the planet together. They can usually be found occupying my kitchen with a giant wok and an obscene amount of vegetables, and tend to disappear into the mountains on the rare sunny day.

Grandma: Scott’s 17-year-old cat with an attitude worse than my own grandmother’s. She’s a patronizing little bugger, and if she’s not curled up tail-to-nose on my bed and purring her way through a nap, she is probably outside with her face in the catnip patch. She’s two-dimensional, and therefore is invisible when turned sideways.

Fatty: Scott’s other cat, younger and contains considerably more cat than Grandma. Any attempts at getting her to lose weight have been suspended till Grandma passes from this world, as their food dish is shared.

Mini Mouse (aka. the Little Ratface): Being a teenage Yorkie & dishrag cross with more medical conditions than teeth, Mini is my recycled and retired dog. Her main activities include sleeping, wagging her tail, peeing in the house and looking impeccably adorable.

Souffle, Orange and Marshmallow Fluff: My guinea pigs, more commonly known as the Good, the Bad and the Utterly Ridiculous. They come from a pet store, the local hippie commune, and a regrettably allergic friend, in that order. They possess a total of two and a half brain cells, which they share amongst themselves, and function as our vegetable garbage disposal and cheap entertainment.

Nathaniel: The ghost that lives in our kitchen and likes to open the cupboards, especially when we are standing in front of one. He is currently responsible for two bruised eyebrows, a sprained wrist (from slamming the cupboard shut for the zillionth time) and the invention of countless profanities. We’d exorcise him, but he keeps life interesting.

Petra: My colleague and friend of old. The only person on this side of the country who not only appreciates the insanity of my life, but has an equally strange one.

Circus Girl: That’s the name given to me by my boss, of all people. I’m a part-time professional, full-time fantasy geek, quarter-time writer and pi-to-the-power-of-sixth-time idealistic airhead hippie. I’m in love with circus arts, as it happens, hence my nickname. This is my life. This is my blog. Greetings, earthling. We are friends.

It was a dark and stormy night…

22 Nov

It really was. Last night. It rained like holy hell, and the wind blew right through our single-pane windows and down our chimney into the now-ash-covered living room. True, the Homestead didn’t sway back and forth like my rickety old apartment in St.John’s, but the question of “what in heaven’s name am I doing here??” still rose in my mind in a tiny, schizoid voice. So there. This is a blog of my ridiculous life. It may or may not be more ridiculous than yours, but it’s sufficiently ridiculous to blog about, and besides I’m in dire need of something to write. It may, in time, morph into something useful. It might not. But this is the story of how it all started- it started on a dark and stormy night…